The second thing we need to do is to find out how much money you actually spend each month again include everything even those items that your spouse does not know about like that Latte down at the coffee stand, that you get on a daily basis. It helps to break this down a little. Fixed nonnegotiable expenses, things we actually cannot do without, we all need food lodging medical care basic clothing insurance property taxes a car may be necessary where you live, you get the idea.
Consider putting yourself back on cash. If you think you shop impulsively because it is so easy to use plastic, try to give yourself a cash allowance every week. You may go over the allowance, but you will have to go to some effort to replenish it. This can be a great way to get a handle on spending.